Oh good Lord, this week has kicked my ass.
The baby now needs to be held all the time -- my husband is at work 8 hours a day and I'm still expected to support all my clients. I've continued to eat with the program, but it's been three days without exercise. Not even thirty minutes.
I'm unshowered, I'm sleep-deprived, I'm frustrated with myself.
Yep, no time to shower.
Not even once.
Meals to prepare for others, things to wipe up for others, diapers to change, babies to nurse, this is very hard.
If I can't take care of myself for ninety freaking days, what does this say about the next eighteen years?
I had a social engagement tonight, our ladies cookbook club, was looking forward to it, but need to stay in and work if I have help. Hope to fit in jump rope. Hope not to cry through the whole thing.
Man, life would be easier if we lived near my parents.
Okay, venting over.
I'm usually relentlessly positive. I just want to succeed at this so badly, and to be thwarted due to sick babies and crying kids and... LIFE, it's frustrating for me. Attitude schmatitude, I'm in survival mode and it's not sustainable.
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Oh man Helen. I couldn't even imagine having to do this, work and take care of a family. I find it hard enough to deal with my job (s) and my dog. I applaud your efforts.
ReplyDeleteJust think how proud you are going to be of yourself at the end of all this. So what, you missed a couple of days. Big freaking whoop! We all will at some point during these 90. The main thing is that you get right back into the swing of things.
Like it or not your clients/ husband/ whoever might just have to take a back seat for an hour a day. Seriously, 1 hour, is not a lot of time and you deserve at least that for yourself. In the end that "me time" will help you be a better wife, mother and even more productive at work. I have a lot of needy pushy clients and if I let them, they would have me working 24/7. If I don't fight for myself I know for damn sure no one else will do it for me.
Hang in there Helen!! You're a super woman and you can get through this.
Helen, can I just add my support for everything Mickey has said above - I cannot imagine coping with everything you are doing quite as well as you are. I would have given in a while ago. Keep up the good work, go easy on yourself and remember to look after yourself when you get a chance. Looking after your emotional needs isn't selfish, it's essential. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteChin up Helen! I can't imagine how hard it must be... but you could envision how you would handle it when you signed up.... you just need to channel back to that. You can do it!
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