Who knows why I did it, but the last three days have devolved to my inner brat saying, "Screw it, I can eat what I want."
I'm good through three pm, and then the fridge pickin' started - Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday.
And today, I have heartburn, a headache and three zits.
I'm back on program today, but trying to figure out why I was so damn obstinate about the cheating. Best I can come up with is that my day is so packed with doing for others that this was the treat I was giving myself. The whole "I deserve it" excuse.
But I deserve a strong and healthy body more.
Looking for any tips to get through that tough part of the day -- it's a weird thing, to want something for yourself but be sabotaging your own efforts.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Day 32, I like to lose it, lose it
Dang, I know I haven't been PCPing the hell out of the exercises. I wish I could do more, but fitting in jump roping and abs -- whatever else I can squeeze in at the end of the night, is all I seem to be able to manage. I HAVE, however stayed strict to my diet and lord, I'm almost at wedding weight (from 6.5 years ago).
My maternity yoga pants no longer stay up, is all I'm saying.
That's motivation in itself.
The big problem is that the baby needs to be held/worn the majority of the day. She's in a carrier, and that can preclude doing some of the exercises. I suppose I could do lunges though, with that 14 pound ball of sweetness on my chest, but I'm not quite sure about my balance.
It's okay, progress is happening and I'm really happy with it.
I'm much happier with my new relationship with food. Yesterday for lunch, we went to a Mexican restaurant. I got a grilled chicken soft taco with grilled vegetables. I didn't have my scale, but eyeballed the proportions and was quite pleased with the food -- my normal giant burrito held no interest.
Still having trouble with the evening egg white -- it's just, weird. But I trust I'll get used to it just the way I got used to a big plate of morning vegetables.
My maternity yoga pants no longer stay up, is all I'm saying.
That's motivation in itself.
The big problem is that the baby needs to be held/worn the majority of the day. She's in a carrier, and that can preclude doing some of the exercises. I suppose I could do lunges though, with that 14 pound ball of sweetness on my chest, but I'm not quite sure about my balance.
It's okay, progress is happening and I'm really happy with it.
I'm much happier with my new relationship with food. Yesterday for lunch, we went to a Mexican restaurant. I got a grilled chicken soft taco with grilled vegetables. I didn't have my scale, but eyeballed the proportions and was quite pleased with the food -- my normal giant burrito held no interest.
Still having trouble with the evening egg white -- it's just, weird. But I trust I'll get used to it just the way I got used to a big plate of morning vegetables.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Day 28, Jump Rope
It works, I continue to do it.
Forgot to eat dinner last night.
I can tell you, I've never once forgotten to eat dinner.
I just wasn't hungry for it.
Too tired.
Went to bed at seven-thirty.
Oh, nursing baby with your every three hour demands.
Oh, nursing baby, needing to be in a carrier all day long.
Food:
Greens Toast Eggs
Banana
Pasta Chicken Broccoli
Pineapple
Nothing, no dinner at all.
Exercises: Done. Barely. Man, I'm still not very good at this. I made it through 200 at a time once. Other than that, it's a lot of unwrapping from around my ankles every fifty or so.
Forgot to eat dinner last night.
I can tell you, I've never once forgotten to eat dinner.
I just wasn't hungry for it.
Too tired.
Went to bed at seven-thirty.
Oh, nursing baby with your every three hour demands.
Oh, nursing baby, needing to be in a carrier all day long.
Food:
Greens Toast Eggs
Banana
Pasta Chicken Broccoli
Pineapple
Nothing, no dinner at all.
Exercises: Done. Barely. Man, I'm still not very good at this. I made it through 200 at a time once. Other than that, it's a lot of unwrapping from around my ankles every fifty or so.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Day 25 - still going
Weighed myself this morning -- pleasantly surprised despite my whole "it's okay if I take this a little slower than the rest of the group" attitude. I've had to. We just found out we're moving. So recap: 8 week old baby, working full time, 18 month old toddler, household, PCP and moving. Let's go!
Sleep. That's the ticket. I can do it with sleep.
Running and jump roping are perfect for me to burn off the chatter up in my head and just do something.
greens egg flax seed toast
strawberries
chicken broccoli pasta
grapes
turkey spaghetti sauce pasta salad biscuit
pineapple and yogurt
Couldn't stay awake to watch LOST. That's a first.
Sleep. That's the ticket. I can do it with sleep.
Running and jump roping are perfect for me to burn off the chatter up in my head and just do something.
greens egg flax seed toast
strawberries
chicken broccoli pasta
grapes
turkey spaghetti sauce pasta salad biscuit
pineapple and yogurt
Couldn't stay awake to watch LOST. That's a first.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Day 24, Another Week
Eating: rad.
Pre-portioned items work for me.
Red Chard Egg Flax Seed Toast
Pasta Broccoli Chicken
Grapes/Strawberries
Pork tenderloin potatoes green beans
Blueberries
Loving greens for breakfast -- for me they're mild enough for the early am and I can cook them in the same skillet as the egg. When the yolk runs on them... sigh.
Ran dog 30 minutes surprised how easy it seemed after 8 months not running.
Exercises: Really hard. Abs I understand. But my back and shoulders? I'm not good at these. But I guess that means I'm doing them right? Body is confusing. Grin.
Can you tell I had six whole hours of sleep in a row?
Excited to keep seeing jump rope progress.
Pre-portioned items work for me.
Red Chard Egg Flax Seed Toast
Pasta Broccoli Chicken
Grapes/Strawberries
Pork tenderloin potatoes green beans
Blueberries
Loving greens for breakfast -- for me they're mild enough for the early am and I can cook them in the same skillet as the egg. When the yolk runs on them... sigh.
Ran dog 30 minutes surprised how easy it seemed after 8 months not running.
Exercises: Really hard. Abs I understand. But my back and shoulders? I'm not good at these. But I guess that means I'm doing them right? Body is confusing. Grin.
Can you tell I had six whole hours of sleep in a row?
Excited to keep seeing jump rope progress.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Day 21
Just when I have a handle on the food... grin.
That was one of the most challenging weeks of my life. Egads.
So I've learned quite a few things.
Time Pockets
I've figured out my pockets of time a little better -- I think when James gets home from work and I get 30 minutes to walk the dog (my precious time away from home with my music and my reset), I can sneak in another 15 minutes of jump rope.
My other break is my shower I take before falling into bed.
Must. Prepare. Food. Ahead. Of. Time.
When we're in the whirl of preparing lunches and breakfasts and dinners and the toddler is wailing and the newborn is wailing and everyone's hungry, there's simply not going to be time for Mom to weigh out her chicken breast. So, bake it all on Sunday, proportion it out and let it be. Having pre-proportioned food at the beginning of last week made things so simple. Since I'm nursing, hunger is intense and debilitating -- having everything in wee containers and baggies makes it easy. Duh.
Fit in strength throughout the day.
Yep, not optimal, but what I gotta do.
(Geez, HJ, a whopping 45 minutes per day for yourself -- let's see if we can't do better this week.)
Exercise: Jump rope
Food: Coffee - milk
pineapple
chicken
avocado/tomato/onion/cilantro
whole wheat tortilla
banana
scallops
potatoes
green salad
glass of wine
That was one of the most challenging weeks of my life. Egads.
So I've learned quite a few things.
Time Pockets
I've figured out my pockets of time a little better -- I think when James gets home from work and I get 30 minutes to walk the dog (my precious time away from home with my music and my reset), I can sneak in another 15 minutes of jump rope.
My other break is my shower I take before falling into bed.
Must. Prepare. Food. Ahead. Of. Time.
When we're in the whirl of preparing lunches and breakfasts and dinners and the toddler is wailing and the newborn is wailing and everyone's hungry, there's simply not going to be time for Mom to weigh out her chicken breast. So, bake it all on Sunday, proportion it out and let it be. Having pre-proportioned food at the beginning of last week made things so simple. Since I'm nursing, hunger is intense and debilitating -- having everything in wee containers and baggies makes it easy. Duh.
Fit in strength throughout the day.
Yep, not optimal, but what I gotta do.
(Geez, HJ, a whopping 45 minutes per day for yourself -- let's see if we can't do better this week.)
Exercise: Jump rope
Food: Coffee - milk
pineapple
chicken
avocado/tomato/onion/cilantro
whole wheat tortilla
banana
scallops
potatoes
green salad
glass of wine
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Day 20. Grumbles.
Oh good Lord, this week has kicked my ass.
The baby now needs to be held all the time -- my husband is at work 8 hours a day and I'm still expected to support all my clients. I've continued to eat with the program, but it's been three days without exercise. Not even thirty minutes.
I'm unshowered, I'm sleep-deprived, I'm frustrated with myself.
Yep, no time to shower.
Not even once.
Meals to prepare for others, things to wipe up for others, diapers to change, babies to nurse, this is very hard.
If I can't take care of myself for ninety freaking days, what does this say about the next eighteen years?
I had a social engagement tonight, our ladies cookbook club, was looking forward to it, but need to stay in and work if I have help. Hope to fit in jump rope. Hope not to cry through the whole thing.
Man, life would be easier if we lived near my parents.
Okay, venting over.
I'm usually relentlessly positive. I just want to succeed at this so badly, and to be thwarted due to sick babies and crying kids and... LIFE, it's frustrating for me. Attitude schmatitude, I'm in survival mode and it's not sustainable.
The baby now needs to be held all the time -- my husband is at work 8 hours a day and I'm still expected to support all my clients. I've continued to eat with the program, but it's been three days without exercise. Not even thirty minutes.
I'm unshowered, I'm sleep-deprived, I'm frustrated with myself.
Yep, no time to shower.
Not even once.
Meals to prepare for others, things to wipe up for others, diapers to change, babies to nurse, this is very hard.
If I can't take care of myself for ninety freaking days, what does this say about the next eighteen years?
I had a social engagement tonight, our ladies cookbook club, was looking forward to it, but need to stay in and work if I have help. Hope to fit in jump rope. Hope not to cry through the whole thing.
Man, life would be easier if we lived near my parents.
Okay, venting over.
I'm usually relentlessly positive. I just want to succeed at this so badly, and to be thwarted due to sick babies and crying kids and... LIFE, it's frustrating for me. Attitude schmatitude, I'm in survival mode and it's not sustainable.
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