All done!

Holy smokes.
That went fast but slow.
Hard but well, hard.

I'm sad to say I didn't do this 100%.
But I'm totally happy with my progress.

I moved a household of four people and one dog during this process.

As well, I have gone from having a 6 week old baby to a 4 month old baby.

I've lost 26 pounds.

Most importantly, I've learned how to eat again.

I haven't had a soda in three months. Since I haven't had a soda in so long, I'm just not going to have them again. (HOLY SMOKES, NO DIET COKE. I WAS KNOWN AS THE DIET COKE LADY.)

Can't eat chips any more. I used to love them. Now they're disgusting.

Sweets? I'd rather have fruit.

I want to post a bit more with photos tonight, but holy smokes.
Yay us!

Day 78

Wrapping it up -- found the digital camera and am happy to see some progress. Granted, had I applied myself 100% instead of my 60%, I'd see more, but I'm pleased with what's going on so far.

Funny, last week went to the town Lobster feed -- except for the 2 (big) glasses of wine, was able to stay on program. Lobster, artichokes -- perfect.

Life is settling in a little -- able to skip, able to run, eating okay. Plan to spend my calories on Sunday's Easter brunch.

That's fun.

Last 14 days -- for all of my busy life and mostly PCPing, I'm thrilled with what I've achieved so far.
(I weigh less than I did on my wedding day 7 years ago.)

My scale has a prominent place in our new kitchen.
Mama has her workout corner.
I'm in a better mood more often.

Yay.

Day 73, Still at it

Haven't been social mediaing re: PCP, but have continued eating and running.
House is 80% unpacked. It's fun to have space.
I have never been this busy in my life.
I think I haven't come down with an illness because I'm eating so well.
Normally two weeks of the activity I'm coming off of and I'd be in bed for a few days.

My daughter had Cheetos from lunch and was "fake" feeding me and I bit into it.
Gross.
Cheetos were my favorite chip pre-PCP.
Now they taste like orange wheat-flavored cardboard.

Day 63 New House

I didn't know that life could ramp up like this -- holy moly. Still in boxes, still completely overwhelmed. Kids. Work. Diet. House. Clean. Work. Running. Some sleep.

Still plugging away -- would love to write out more of my experiences. Working on stretching that relative world of time out to encompass all the stuff there is to do. Working on accepting that time isn't always silly putty.

Body stalling a little -- guessing that's due to the minimal strength.
I have no idea where my digital camera is -- will use my phone, I guess.

Will make time (stretch it, flip it, rub it down) to go through everyone else's blog tonight.

But our house!
We're in it!

Still in, still moving

Mom is here. Boxes still abound. Tomorrow is our last day in this godforsaken neverland of between places.

Be ye warned, with children, with BABIES, moving takes thrice as long.
Especially with no family in town to help.

(and a hired babysitter that flaked at the last minute)

We'll get there and I'll be back on this horse come Tuesday.

Thanks for your patience.

(Food, I've been awesome at, exercise, medium. Damn, I'm proud I'm still on track through all this mayhem. No, literal mayhem.)

Day 52, Moving

We're moving.
I'm up to my elbows in boxes.
Thank God I measured out all my food.
This will be a theme this week.
I'm eager to see how many more muscles I have during this week.

Day 50, Keeping on, keeping on

Man, we've been busy.
9:00pm arrives before I have any idea what's going on.

With packing on top of babies on top of work on top of... I just keep going.
PCP food is going fine -- I'm doing my skipping and running and ab work -- about every otherish day I get to the rest of them.

This week, we had technical issues with our server and some client email went down. People get very upset when their email isn't working (I know, I've been there too) but dang, it's been stressful. On the phone with support, on the phone with angry clients and now suffering financial fallout because their service was down.

Do you know how much I wanted a big piece of cake or stiff drink or what ever the hell while dealing with it?

Much.
But, I didn't.
Everything's resolved now, but I think I have Inbox PSTD -- I'm terrified to check email in case it's another avalanche of shitstorm.

It's been hard to post with all that awesome going on, so this week, this space will be a little more wordy.

Day 46, Rawr

Hosted my daughter's "Meet the Baby" party yesterday and got so many compliments on my appearance it redoubled my commitment.

May I repeat that this mom of a ten week old baby was called "smokin'?"
I may repeat it?
I was called smokin'.
Yes.
I will take it.

I appreciate the reminder not to eat the same vegetables. I've downed so many steamed dark greens and broccoli that my daughter's burps smell like them.

Other vegetables ho!
I'm not much of a fan of the flavor of whole wheat -- will be trying out other options to see what I don't mind too much.

Yes, I've lost weight, but I'm also guessing a lot of it was hormonal and water weight related to the pregnancy. I'm expecting the weight loss to slow as my muscles come out, but who knows?

Patrick question:
I love my twice a day yogurt (Fage 0%, mmm), but is there something I can add so it's not so much like choking down sour cream? Honey? Applesauce?

Day 43 More Parents

Sneaking up to blog, having parents here seems to have decreased my available time. They're helpful, but seem to want to spend more time "visiting" than I'd anticipated.

I missed breakfast twice since they got here (uh, I was supposed to have MORE time for breakfast) and that throws my carefully balanced hunger off. Not that I'm eating off program to make up for it, but that I'm STARVINGDEATHSTARVING later in the evening.

See also the question, "How do I have even less time to exercise than before?"

Oh difference between public (helenjane.com life) and private (here) personas.

That said, it's awesome to watch them interact with their grandchildren.
Remember that, HJ. This is good practice for putting routines into stressful situations -- if I can maintain exercise and diet NOW (with all the ALL I have going on) I can maintain it through anything.

Almost half-way there.
I've lost 18 pounds.
Amazing.

Day 41 Parents arrive

So happy my parents are here for the next nine days.
It's tough on them to have me following this "weirdo diet" when they want to stuff me with all my homemade favorites, but I'm staying strong.

"You're wasting away!" my mom said.
(Not going to lie, that made me feel awesome. Also, I'm not wasting away, I haven't bought many in-between clothes yet so I'm still swimming in maternity clothes.)

Still, it felt good to have someone acknowledge my hard work, friends without kids think I should have been back to pre-baby body when I left the hospital and my husband sees me every day so change to him has been so gradual there's no noticing.

Also, will have a photo this week -- two weeks of photos are on my camera and I haven't uploaded yet.

Staying strong in the face of MOM is nigh impossible, but my husband has my back. (Also, extra time to exercise since the parents are babysitting.)

Day 37, Ow.

Wow, my legs hurt.
And I was less hungry than I was the day before yesterday.
So, that's good.

My dog is loving the running. I also jumped yesterday, because James is here and I had a hot minute. We laugh about the day's pace, my me time is the 20 minute shower I take at the end of the day. This keeps eating less important for most of the day.

Time's been flying so fast as well. It keeps achey muscles in perspective.

My lower back is aching -- whether that be from the added weight from the baby carrier or the running and jumping on concrete, I can't tell. Am doing stretches (finally) to help with it.

Sticking with the same foods for the week really helps -- greens/egg/toast for breakfast, snack, broccoli/pasta/chicken lunch, snack, and my fun fruit dinner all take one extra decision I have to make out of the day.

Oh, I've also come up with one thing to help with my 3:00 monster hunger,
1. I drink a big glass of water
2. I wait another 20 minutes
3. I put tooth whitening strips on.

I can't eat for 30 minutes with my tooth whitening strips and by that point, I'm mostly past it -- it's almost dinner time and my teeth are getting lovelier.

Feel free to pass on ;).

Day 36 Back at it

And boy, am I hungry.
And my belly is letting me know it.

Ran with the dog for 45 minutes instead of jumproping -- i love me some jumping rope, but if I can get double duty out of my exercise (dog getting out) then we're even farther ahead.

Dinner was wack.
Apple? Banana?
But fun.

The hunger wasn't a problem except for that 3-4 o'clock time. That's rough.

Loving the legwork.
Not loving the back stuff.
Story of my story.

Day 35 I gave it up

Who knows why I did it, but the last three days have devolved to my inner brat saying, "Screw it, I can eat what I want."

I'm good through three pm, and then the fridge pickin' started - Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday.
And today, I have heartburn, a headache and three zits.

I'm back on program today, but trying to figure out why I was so damn obstinate about the cheating. Best I can come up with is that my day is so packed with doing for others that this was the treat I was giving myself. The whole "I deserve it" excuse.

But I deserve a strong and healthy body more.

Looking for any tips to get through that tough part of the day -- it's a weird thing, to want something for yourself but be sabotaging your own efforts.

Day 32, I like to lose it, lose it

Dang, I know I haven't been PCPing the hell out of the exercises. I wish I could do more, but fitting in jump roping and abs -- whatever else I can squeeze in at the end of the night, is all I seem to be able to manage. I HAVE, however stayed strict to my diet and lord, I'm almost at wedding weight (from 6.5 years ago).

My maternity yoga pants no longer stay up, is all I'm saying.
That's motivation in itself.

The big problem is that the baby needs to be held/worn the majority of the day. She's in a carrier, and that can preclude doing some of the exercises. I suppose I could do lunges though, with that 14 pound ball of sweetness on my chest, but I'm not quite sure about my balance.

It's okay, progress is happening and I'm really happy with it.
I'm much happier with my new relationship with food. Yesterday for lunch, we went to a Mexican restaurant. I got a grilled chicken soft taco with grilled vegetables. I didn't have my scale, but eyeballed the proportions and was quite pleased with the food -- my normal giant burrito held no interest.

Still having trouble with the evening egg white -- it's just, weird. But I trust I'll get used to it just the way I got used to a big plate of morning vegetables.

Day 28, Jump Rope

It works, I continue to do it.
Forgot to eat dinner last night.
I can tell you, I've never once forgotten to eat dinner.
I just wasn't hungry for it.
Too tired.
Went to bed at seven-thirty.

Oh, nursing baby with your every three hour demands.
Oh, nursing baby, needing to be in a carrier all day long.

Food:
Greens Toast Eggs
Banana
Pasta Chicken Broccoli
Pineapple
Nothing, no dinner at all.

Exercises: Done. Barely. Man, I'm still not very good at this. I made it through 200 at a time once. Other than that, it's a lot of unwrapping from around my ankles every fifty or so.

Day 25 - still going

Weighed myself this morning -- pleasantly surprised despite my whole "it's okay if I take this a little slower than the rest of the group" attitude. I've had to. We just found out we're moving. So recap: 8 week old baby, working full time, 18 month old toddler, household, PCP and moving. Let's go!

Sleep. That's the ticket. I can do it with sleep.

Running and jump roping are perfect for me to burn off the chatter up in my head and just do something.

greens egg flax seed toast
strawberries
chicken broccoli pasta
grapes
turkey spaghetti sauce pasta salad biscuit
pineapple and yogurt

Couldn't stay awake to watch LOST. That's a first.

Day 24, Another Week

Eating: rad.
Pre-portioned items work for me.

Red Chard Egg Flax Seed Toast
Pasta Broccoli Chicken
Grapes/Strawberries
Pork tenderloin potatoes green beans
Blueberries

Loving greens for breakfast -- for me they're mild enough for the early am and I can cook them in the same skillet as the egg. When the yolk runs on them... sigh.

Ran dog 30 minutes surprised how easy it seemed after 8 months not running.
Exercises: Really hard. Abs I understand. But my back and shoulders? I'm not good at these. But I guess that means I'm doing them right? Body is confusing. Grin.

Can you tell I had six whole hours of sleep in a row?

Excited to keep seeing jump rope progress.

Day 21

Just when I have a handle on the food... grin.

That was one of the most challenging weeks of my life. Egads.
So I've learned quite a few things.

Time Pockets
I've figured out my pockets of time a little better -- I think when James gets home from work and I get 30 minutes to walk the dog (my precious time away from home with my music and my reset), I can sneak in another 15 minutes of jump rope.

My other break is my shower I take before falling into bed.

Must. Prepare. Food. Ahead. Of. Time.
When we're in the whirl of preparing lunches and breakfasts and dinners and the toddler is wailing and the newborn is wailing and everyone's hungry, there's simply not going to be time for Mom to weigh out her chicken breast. So, bake it all on Sunday, proportion it out and let it be. Having pre-proportioned food at the beginning of last week made things so simple. Since I'm nursing, hunger is intense and debilitating -- having everything in wee containers and baggies makes it easy. Duh.

Fit in strength throughout the day.
Yep, not optimal, but what I gotta do.

(Geez, HJ, a whopping 45 minutes per day for yourself -- let's see if we can't do better this week.)

Exercise: Jump rope
Food: Coffee - milk
pineapple

chicken
avocado/tomato/onion/cilantro
whole wheat tortilla

banana

scallops
potatoes
green salad
glass of wine

Day 20. Grumbles.

Oh good Lord, this week has kicked my ass.

The baby now needs to be held all the time -- my husband is at work 8 hours a day and I'm still expected to support all my clients. I've continued to eat with the program, but it's been three days without exercise. Not even thirty minutes.

I'm unshowered, I'm sleep-deprived, I'm frustrated with myself.
Yep, no time to shower.
Not even once.

Meals to prepare for others, things to wipe up for others, diapers to change, babies to nurse, this is very hard.

If I can't take care of myself for ninety freaking days, what does this say about the next eighteen years?

I had a social engagement tonight, our ladies cookbook club, was looking forward to it, but need to stay in and work if I have help. Hope to fit in jump rope. Hope not to cry through the whole thing.

Man, life would be easier if we lived near my parents.

Okay, venting over.
I'm usually relentlessly positive. I just want to succeed at this so badly, and to be thwarted due to sick babies and crying kids and... LIFE, it's frustrating for me. Attitude schmatitude, I'm in survival mode and it's not sustainable.